Story time! One of my best friends has been casually dating a guy for over two years now. They don’t have a great relationship, and I’ve struggled to understand why. This may sound strange, but one of the first times I realized why things were off was when she recently told me that they had just had their fight fight. After more than two years, they had their very first fight a few months ago.
As weird as it sounds, fighting is essential to a relationship (we’ll get to the reasons why in a minute). In fact, a lot of things that you would think would harm a relationship are actually good for them. That’s because, in order for them to work, relationships need both the good and the bad times. Here are 8 weird things that will help improve your relationship. Trust me!
Like I said, fighting is essential in a relationship. I’m not talking about really bad fighting constantly, I’m just talking about little fights once in a while. Conflict is necessary in order to get your feelings out there. If you never fight about anything, it’s probably because you’re keeping your thoughts and feelings to yourself – and you should be expressing them to your partner! It’s okay to disagree sometimes. It’s actually healthy! My friend was proud of the fact that her and her BF never fought, but she shouldn’t be. This means that either they don’t care, or they’re not being honest with each other. Also? Fights mean making up (if they’re the good kind of fight), which can be a great bonding experience.
A little jealousy never hurt anyone. It’s when jealousy gets overbearing that it becomes a problem. If you guys are snooping through each other’s stuff, that’s bad. If one of you questions everything the other one does, that’s not okay. But a little jealousy – for example, if he gets a little annoyed about someone else flirting with you – can remind you that he cares, and remind him that he could lose you. See what I’m saying?
Flirting With Other People
Let me clarify: HARMLESS flirting with other people is okay, especially if you’re in a long-term relationship. By harmless, I mean silly flirting with a close friend or co-worker or something. I don’t mean sexting, emotional cheating, talking seriously about sexual stuff, or coming close to kissing. A tiny bit of flirting can be a good outlet when you’ve been dating someone for a long time.
Not Texting All Day
Don’t text your boyfriend/girlfriend 24/7. It’s not going to do you any favors. Don’t believe me? Studies show that texting too much will make your partner feel smothered and suffocated, two things you definitely don’t want him/her to feel. Leave a little mystery in the relationship. Check in once in a while, but leave the talking to when you’re hanging out. If you don’t chat all day, you’ll be more excited to see each other later on.
Spending Time Apart
Another thing that will make both you and your partner feel smothered is spending too much time together. It’s good to have alone time – it’s 100 percent necessary. I cringe when I see couples who spend every waking moment together. They’re going to get sick of each other fast and burn out. Hang out every other day. Only see each other on the weekends. Whatever works for you! Just make sure you have time to just be with yourself.
Playing Video Games
In strange news, recent research found that playing video games can be good for your relationship. It helps people build emotional connections, improves your mood, and releases stress. Why not play together?
Having Your Own Friends
It’s really important for your significant other to get along with your friends. It’s even better if they all become friends so you can all hang out together. But you still both need your own friends. Don’t become so close that your S.O.’s BFFs become your BFFs. Spend time with your friends on your own, and let your partner do the same.
Not Having All The Same Interests
There’s a reason the saying “opposites attract” is so popular – it’s true! Your partner doesn’t have to be into everything you love, and vice versa. It’s good to have your own things. You can introduce each other to stuff, and have debates on different ideas or interests. That’s a good thing. Having your own interests helps you continue to be your own person, rather than morphing into a “we.”