Ways To Be Intimate After Having A Baby : If you’re about to have a baby, or are a few months in, you might realise by now that a baby consumes almost all of your time. They will be the best thing that ever happened to you, an absolute gift, but it can be daunting thinking of all the changes that will happen to your life. There are a number of things you might have to give up, but a healthy social life isn’t one of them.
Accept That Your Life Has Changed
It’s important for you to accept that your entire life, including your social life has changed now that you’ve had a baby. A lot of the time, people fear any sort of change and don’t want to give anything up. Even though the saying, you can’t have your cake and eat it too has never made sense to me (who would want a cake you can’t eat), the sentiment is relevant here. You have this amazing, gift in your life now (your baby) and yes things are going to change, but that doesn’t mean they will change for the worse.
If you have been going out two or three times a week with your friends, having Friday, Saturday and even the odd Sunday drinks for the past decade, then maybe a change in that routine isn’t such a bad thing. It is important to acknowledge that things are going to change, and to go with it rather than resisting the change and searching for someone to resent. There are plenty of fun things to do that involve your baby which are now opened up to you.
Make New Friends
Becoming a parent doesn’t mean giving up your social life or your friends, but it will mean you will want to have social outings involving your baby. Many new parents join mothers groups soon after their baby is born in order to socialise with other new mothers with babies of the same age. This can be a great way to boost your social life and talk through any issues you might be experiencing with baby at the time.
If you feel like you don’t fit in with the first group you try, then get in touch with another group, or it often happens that parents (and their children) make friends at the local park or through day care. Your outings might change, and start including trips to the baby shop, or searching for the best play centre around, but these can be fun and it’s a great way to share in a nice time with your little one.
Book in Outing
Firstly, don’t feel guilty for wanting to go out and catch up with friends sometimes. Yes, your child is your number one priority, but wanting to have fun with your friends doesn’t mean you are neglecting them. Book in an outing in advance with your partner or parent so that it is organised and the chance of you being called and needing to come home is reduced.
When your special outings on your own as an adult human (rather than as mommy, wife or partner) become a less frequent event, they become much more special. You will enjoy each glass of wine that much more, and you will be more inclined to try new bars, restaurants and activities knowing that it might be a while before you will be out and about again.
Allow Yourself The Time
Even though you might be cringing at the idea of staying home with your baby on a Saturday night, the reality is as soon as you are out and way from your special little one, you will miss them. So, just as it’s important to go out every now and then and give yourself some grown-up time, it’s especially important to allow yourself that time when you do take it.
If you find yourself moping in a corner of the bar while you are out with your friends, then maybe you just aren’t ready for it yet. And what a special new relationship you have with your baby that it is so hard to be away from them.
It’s normal to feel some initial queasiness at the dread of becoming a boring parent who loses touch with their friends, but the reality is, that will only happen if you allow it to. A child is a blessing, so only allow yourself positive reactions to them.
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