The Couples’ Guide to Strengthening Their Relationship after a Disability : In a snap, everything can change. None of us know what can happen one hour from now or the day after tomorrow. You may have been planning a romantic dinner with your special one earlier, and the next minute both of your worlds have changed.
Life is not always sunny; sometimes it’s full of raging storm. And right now, you and your partner are facing a storm that you should both survive. It may be difficult, and you may not often see rays of sunshine, but if you face it hand in hand and full of love and understanding for each other, you’ll survive better and stronger.
What Comes Next?
You may be wondering what happens next and how you can deal with the disability. Different things occur for the first few days and weeks, and it will be a harsh roller coaster ride of emotions. There will be ups and downs; it won’t be easy. But if you and your partner equip yourselves with all the necessary info, you’ll both be okay. Here are some key tips to staying strong after a disability strikes.
Take time to understand everything
Your loved one has been involved in an accident, and gladly he or she came out of it alive. However, your partner is now disabled. It will be hard for the both of you, but it will be harder for him or her. No one is prepared for this kind of event, and neither of you know what to do. This is why you and your loved one should take time to understand what happened and what the future holds, and you should do this together.
You and your partner should:
- Go to the doctor together. Going with your partner on his/her visits to the doctor ensures that your partner has someone to rely on when something amiss happens. It also makes him or her feel that you’re giving your total support.
- Research treatments and assistance that your partner can get. There are a lot of assistance and treatments that are available for a disabled person.
- Take time to research similar injuries. Taking time to research similar disabilities will help you understand the things that you and your special one can do.
Support Your Partner Throughout Treatment
There are a lot of treatments available for people with various disabilities these days. However, since you’re both going through this situation, deciding what to do rests in both of your hands. If there are medications or treatments that can be helpful, both of you should take time to think it over.
If you and your partner do the decision-making together:
- Your partner will know that you’re by his or her side. Since the two of you made the decision as a team, your partner knows that you’ll stand by no matter what the outcome is.
- You’re both aware of the decision. This is a common mistake made between partners: only one person makes the decision, which makes the other person unaware of what will happen next. If you make the decision together, you both know what needs to be done and how to do it.
- There’s transparency. There will be no hiding what you both think about the medication or treatment, which can be very helpful in knowing what’s really going on.
And knowing that you have a hand in decision-making will also give your partner a boost of confidence about the treatment.
Be with Your Loved One
This does not only mean that you should be there for your partner physically, but that you should also be with him or her emotionally and mentally. Understanding the injury and the treatment for it is not the endpoint. Your partner doesn’t just need medications and treatments; your loved one also needs your love and support.
You can show your partner love by:
- Helping him/her forget about his disability. Most of the time, people with a disability tend to wallow in grief over what they’ve lost. This can be damaging to your relationship. The best remedy for this is doing different things from time to time such as going to an intimate dinner, going to the beach, or bonding with closest friends and family.
- Going slowly and surely. Most of the time after an accident, you may want to hurry things up. However, this can end up in more disasters. Never push your partner to hurry treatment, as it will only frustrate you and your partner.
- Reading between the lines. After the accident, your partner may have lost his or her will and feel useless. Every time you talk to your partner, observe him or her. Your loved one may be saying that everything is fine, but the truth might be quite the opposite.
Listen to Each Other
Your partner may be grieving because of the disability, but your partner is not the only one who has been hurt. This is why you and your loved should take time to listen to each other. You and your partner should:
- Not only listen, but also understand each other. Sometimes, people confuse hearing with listening. In these challenging times, you and your loved one should not only hear what is said but also listen to what the words mean.
- Take time to observe each other’s actions. It is true that actions speak louder than words. This is why you not only listen, but also observe what both of you do.
Disability is never easy. Your partner needs you the most during this period, and you also need him or her to be there for you. And if you and your partner want to get compensation for this devastating situation, be sure to consult a lawyer on what to do. Together with your lawyer’s help, like the one here, and the tips we’ve given above, you and your loved one will survive this storm.
Andrew Nickleson is a passionate writer, writing about disabilities and the law. He has written about many subjects aimed to help those who have questions unanswered. In his spare time he enjoys working on volunteering for those less fortunate.
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