On 10th September this year, I had made some submissions about how to communicate your statements, your intentions and your plans. Effective communication means your work is half done; the rest depends upon your follow-up. In this process, you need not to concentrate upon yourself only but have to see the reaction over the target audience as well. There are many dimensions to the communications. I may have a look upon them here.
In communicating, we involve public speaking which isn’t something that everyone is used to. Some of us become jittery and break into a cold sweat even at the prospect of speaking to a handful of people. Why a group, some of us stammer and become nervous even when they have to speak to an unfamiliar person on a one-on-one basis. But it is not difficult.
If you are the type of the person that sits alone at a party with a hundred people just because you don’t know anyone there, you definitely need to improve your skills of communication. Communication is the key to anything – making friendships, striking business contracts, impressing people and even getting yourself a life partner. You cannot do any of these without talking with someone.
But if talking with someone unfamiliar is something that scares the heebie-jeebies out of you, you need a quick sizing up. Probably something is seriously wrong there. Talking is actually one of the natural things that we do – it is as natural as breathing for most of us – so what’s holding you back.
Is it Your lack of Confidence?
You are in the gathering of about 50 persons and you do not know anyone amongst them. What will you do? You may go to one corner and stand alone. No, it is not etiquette. You must get acquainted with some one. How would you get acquainted? You may think if anyone of them has ever met you. No, you can start to give your own introduction. Try and Try again – someone may still not like. You may carry on.
In this process, the first thing you need confidence. Here, confidence basically means that you should have some knowledge of your self-worth. You should know that you amount to something and that is what you need to project when you are trying to open a conversation with someone. It is only when they understand that listening to you will mean something to them will they take the time. However, your confidence will only show when you are really happy with your self-worth. Hence, this is more about a self-evolvement thing than personality development.
I would say this is what gives the power to keep any conversation going. What does being considerate mean in this context? It simply means this – You have to be as much aware of the other person as you are about yourself. If you get a break at a conversation with someone, it does not mean that you will just go on rambling about yourself. Give an equal opportunity to the other to speak. Listen to what they say. Ask about them. Make them feel important in the talk too.
You may start with a single topic, but if you want to keep a conversation going on, it is best to be diverse. Once you know what the person likes, you could continue talking about that subject. But it would be foolish to talk about Hollywood thrillers to a person who hasn’t ever watched a movie, wouldn’t it? You must make an effort to keep broadening your vistas of knowledge all the time. Remember that the more you know the more will you be able to talk.
A conversation commits partial suicide when you forget an important detail about someone. It would be ridiculous if you have been speaking with someone for fifteen minutes and you have already forgotten their name which they mentioned. On the other hand, if you speak specifically to someone about something that pertains to them, you will almost always get a good reply. A good memory is vital to good conversation.
One of the terms that we use very often in our colloquial talk is ‘breaking the ice’. If there is really a good girl in college or a handsome hunk and you manage to get a few words out of her or him for the first time, you say you have broken the ice with them. If there is someone superior to you at work and you have always been aloof and then suddenly you get them to talk with you, you say that you have broken the ice. So, does breaking the ice just mean getting on communicating terms with someone new? Or is there more to it than we generally imply?
Breaking the ice means getting the person interested in you. It is not just about getting them to use their vocal cords; it is about getting them interested in you at least to a little extent so that they feel it worthwhile to say something in response. When you have broken the ice with someone, they most usually speak something in response to what you are saying. This means that what you told them has held their interest.
When ice is ice, it is solid. It is stubborn and hard. But when you break it, it becomes pliable at once. It becomes fluid and starts moving. It doesn’t take it long to become warm water. But as long as it is ice, it will continue to be hard. So, when you break the ice with someone, you are actually turning someone who is cold toward you into a warm, responsive person.
In other words, breaking the ice is the beginning step to any conversation. But you have to take the initiative here. Don’t assume everyone to be frank and friendly and free-spirited. For most people, you will have to break the ice. This may be the route to a potential friendship or business collaboration or maybe even a relationship. Think about it.
Be Happy – Talk Well With Anyone.