Looking for tips on how to make peace with your ex-boyfriend or ex-husband? You’ve come to the right place. I’ve got some hints that are tried and that really work. Often, it’s impossible to have a good relationship with exes, but it can actually be done with a little effort. Read on to find out a few helpful hints for making peace with your ex.
1. Boners are like wild stallions. We can’t tame them. They come and go as they please. Even after the hormonal apocalypse that is puberty, boners can show up at any time: when we’re aroused, when we’re browsing Facebook, at a funeral, when we’re wistfully staring out a window, and when we’re actively not trying to get a boner.
Let’s face it, our moms will take whatever we give them for Christmas with a happy smile, just as they have since we brought home our raggedy cutout snowflakes in first grade. The thing is, we’re grown up now and after so many Christmas celebrations together, we’ve run out of ideas that aren’t the same worn-out offerings to her: the scarf, the book, the fancy can opener, a box of chocolates, something related to her hobbies. We probably have a good idea what NOT to give her: a kitchen appliance (unless she’s asked for it), any kind of clothing she hasn’t gone with us to pick out, a book on making the home beautiful, a picture frame… you know that list.
1. We should do sex. We’re both still awake. We’re in this little guest room with nothing but an old 13″ TV with a built-in VHS player. We should … you know…
2. Please, can’t we just do, like, something? All right, yeah, I know your parents are sleeping right next door, but we could do hand stuff, right?
3. We can be really quiet. It’ll be like a fun game. OK, that sounded creepy, but you know what I meant.
4. I promise, missionary, like, 10 minutes tops. I will give it my all. No holding back. No mind games to last longer. I promise, I will leave you so disappointed.
5. Having to be quiet is actually kind of hot. We’re both into this now, right?
6. Shit, are we being too loud? That was kind of loud. We’re too into this. Dial it back.
7. They must have heard that. Do you think they heard that? I can’t get a rhythm going without feeling like the sound of skin slapping against skin is reverberating around this room like we’re boning in an echo chamber.
8. I can’t stop thinking about your dad now. No, not in that way.
9. He’s there, on the other side of that wall … listening. I can feel his presence. It’s like Voldemort and Harry Potter. We have a connection now.
10. I can’t. I can’t do this. This feels too weird. What if he knows I’m coming. I know that makes no sense, but what if he knows.
11. He knows. I can feel it in my heart and in my genitals.
12. I lie awake dreading the glare I’ll get from him tomorrow at breakfast. He will stare into my eyes and know my shame and all of my sins. I will not be able to lift my spoon because my arms will be tied down with the weight of my transgressions, and he will sit at the head of the table and smile. Smile as the sullied yoke around my neck pulls my gaze down to my bowl of Lucky Charms that sits there, soaking in milk, until they are too soggy to eat. And he will smile, because he has won.
Emotional Stages of Having Sex at Your Parents’ House
1. Oh my god, where did you come from, most perfect person I have ever met?! Kissing you is the best and hanging out with you is the best and also not having to date someone who is a total loser is the best! Plus, you are so hot! How are you so hot?
2. Oh my god, you listen to Sixpence None The Richer’s “Kiss Me” unironically, too??? Wait, you listen to Dave Matthews Band and you’re openly admitting that? I’ll just tell myself you don’t really like DMB and focus on the Sixpence tidbit, and we’ll get through this.
3. Every song I listen to reminds me of you. “Drunk in Love”? You. This weird EDM song that’s mostly just beeping sounds with a foghorn playing over it? Somehow still you.
4. That one thing you do is really weird and I’m not completely into it. I’d be lying if I said that the fact that you brush your teeth using only baking soda wasn’t confusing and strange, but I still like you a lot, so who cares? No one is perfect.
5. I’m just gonna Google your exes really quickly. Just to see if I’m hotter than they are. No big.
6. Uh-oh, I’m mad at you and you’re mad at me. I don’t want to have a fight because I hate fighting but I’m also mad at you. And now you’re mad at me because I was mad. I’m glad you told me about it and actually, you handled it pretty well, and you know what, I handled it pretty well too. Man, what can’t we survive?
7. Man, the qualities I do not love about you are really piling up. Again, it’s cool though because they don’t really matter and all your other qualities are seriously top notch. Still feelin’ it.
8. Will things always be this great? A lifetime of just pleasant experiences and awesome sex? Is that a thing?
9. Oh, no, what if one day things aren’t great and this ends. I don’t want it to end. Do you think it might end, every friend I know and also strangers I ask on the street? Do you? I would be so sad. Great, now I’m sad and nothing has even happened yet.
10. I’m so into you but also know basically nothing about you. Like, do you have a secret family? Is it weird to ask about diseases?
11. Why did anyone ever break up with you? Wait, why did they break up with you? Am I missing something? What if we break up for the same thing they broke up with you for? Oh well, they sounded like an asshole anyway.
12. I feel like I’m in love with you but I will not, will not, say it. I mean, I think it approximately five times every time I see you but I know it’s too soon and I will not say it. Don’t you worry about that.
13. You didn’t text me back last night so, obviously, you’re dead. I will attend your funeral and say that I loved you because I did, only I couldn’t say it because we’d only been dating a few months, but now that you’re dead, all bets are off. I loved you. I really did.
14. Honestly, if you are thinking about dumping me, which you might be because I have no idea what’s going on at this point, that’s fine. I don’t even care. Like, what are you, Angelina Jolie in the ’90s? No. You’re just a person. I’ll find someone else. It’s not a big deal. I mean I only loved you, like, a little bit anyway. Whatever.
15. But seriously, please don’t leave me, I’ve already imagined our wedding and you are so great I could cry. Wait, what’s that? You haven’t thought about leaving once? And you like me as much as I like you? And I should just stop overthinking every millisecond of our courtship so I can actually enjoy the fact I’ve found someone remarkable? Fiiiiine.
Emotional Stages of Being in a New Relationship
Very often when we start a new relationship we can be mistaken greatly. At first, everything seems to be so perfect and girls almost adore their new boyfriends. It is like a dream. Unfortunately, sometimes girls are disappointed greatly with their boys and after some period of time they find out that their relationship is going wrong. You can observe that the feelings between you and your boy weaken more and more every day. Here I have a list of certain signs which will help you to see that your present boy will not make you happy in future. If you observe any of these problems, you should think carefully about the boy you’ve chosen.
Anyone who knew me and my husband when we first met would have placed bets on us not surviving past a few months of dating. There were a whole slew of issues we had to work through, mainly my jealousy over his ex-girlfriend of 15 years and his lack of communication when it came to making me feel special.
One of the most difficult things in life is to keep the spark in relationship alive. During life you and your partner can experience emotional ups and downs. You should be ready to fight and express your emotions, because people aren’t perfect. Don’t be too hard on your boyfriend, because like all human beings, he can make mistakes and disappoint you somehow. The way to a strong and successful relationship is very long and it requires patience and the commitment of time.
“It’s like falling in love each day with him.”
Sandhya is 29-years-old and her husband, Ankur, is 31. Before they got married, she lived in India, he lived in America, and they met when Sandhya’s parents placed a newspaper ad (in the “matrimonial column”) looking for potential husbands for her.
So your parents placed the ad?
Sandhya: Yes. My dad, every Sunday, he would send in and screen these ads and whichever he thought could be the potential matches he would mark them and tell me, “Whoever you are interested in just send them an email.” I remember being a little girl and like, “No, I’m not going to go through that. I am definitely not going to go through that,” but then you do it because you have to. You know you can’t reason with your parents.
Ankur: But I think it’s a good thing because we met.
What was it about him that you liked? Do you remember?
Sandhya: He’s very understated. He doesn’t try too hard. There are a lot of things that I like about him; it’s hard to put into words. When you live with someone, you just learn to like that life and go with it. With him, whenever I spoke it felt like I have known him forever. It never felt like he was someone new.
Ankur: Same thing with me. I was looking through emails for about two years or so. I had called and chatted with several girls in the past, but it never really worked out for me. With her, I saw her email, we met once, and then we talked once, and it just felt right. It just felt so right.
Was it strange to start a relationship that’s like,”OK, this is going to be serious. We’re going to get married”?
Sandhya: I think we had a lot of conditioning from our parents about it. That’s how my parents married. You see that happening around you. Your cousins are married that way. There are a lot of love marriages as well and different things happening, but growing up I saw that going on and someday I knew that this was going to happen to me, as well.
Ankur: It makes it easy. There’s no pressure on you that you have to date. In fact, it’s the opposite. There’s no worry that I’m going to end up alone! So for me I was open that if somebody right comes along that I am attracted to and that I like for a long term relationship, then I would go ahead with it. But it just didn’t happen until Sandhya.
So how long did you guys talk before you met in person?
Sandhya: I think a couple of hours. He liked me and he told his parents that he was interested, so his parents called my parents. Then my parents went to his place and met his parents and they liked everything, so he flew from the U.S. with his parents to meet me. It’s a whole family thing. We sat for like 15 minutes face to face. It’s kind of embarrassing because it is so…
Ankur: Because our entire families are there, so you are not really talking too much.
Sandhya: He was like all shy and I was talking, and then he just went home and the next day his parents called and said that he wants to get married to me and my parents were like, “Is it OK with you?” and I said, “OK!” and then we got married!
Now it’s like falling in love each day with him. It is like you’re still dating. We still don’t feel like we’ve gotten married. It’s like he’s my boyfriend.
Ankur: It’s a gamble. Both ways it’s a gamble. That’s like life in general and I always think that more than 50 percent of marriages end up nowhere, even though most of them are after long term dating. So it’s a gamble either way.
How long was your engagement?
Sandhya: We got married after a month and a half.
Once you were engaged you could hang out more right? You guys spent some time together?
Ankur: We could not. We did not because I was back in the U.S. and she was in India. I coordinated my vacation such that I went to India like a week before my marriage and stayed there for like five to 10 days after.
Sandhya: Indian weddings are like 10 days and it’s not about the bride and the groom. They are just supposed to be ganged up and get to some place where everyone can see them.
Ankur: I enjoyed it.
How many people are at the largest event of the wedding?
Sandhya: A thousand.
Ankur: Yeah I would say between 500 to 1,000. We knew maybe 50 or 100 of them, our close friends and immediate relatives. Everyone wants to take a picture with you and then you have to keep smiling for like several hours. Big smiles.
Sandhya: Your face starts shaking because you have to keep smiling.
Which day of the 10 day party did you really get to spend the night together?
Sandhya: Oh this happens after the wedding. After the reception.
Ankur: Yeah. When the party is over.
Sandhya: That was the most weird. Because, I don’t even really know him, but obviously it’s like a bit uncomfortable and embarrassing because you are with them all by yourself in the room.
Ankur: I was pretty relaxed because after a long feasting and party then you enjoy the process but then you want it to be over with after a certain time and that’s really the first time. It’s like oh finally!
Sandhya: The girl goes with the guy to his place. So now his house is my house.
Ankur: I think it went fine. It’s also about exploring the other person’s excitement of it. Who she is, what she is like. Talking about each other, talking about your stories from the past. So it is also kinda of the excitement of knowing the other person.
Sandhya: It is all butterflies in your stomach. It’s like “OH MYGOD! WHAT AM I DOING!?”
Does it feel like it’s too fast because you guys hadn’t spent that much time together?
Sandhya: I don’t know. If you think about it then there are all these crazy thoughts that come, and you have to stop thinking and go with the way you feel. Then it’s not that complicated anymore. I think we make it complicated when we over think things. So I just stopped using my brain and started using my heart.
Ankur: Yeah, it wasn’t complicated to me at all.
How has your sex life changed since you’ve been married?
Sandhya: I think it just keeps getting better.
Ankur: That’s the fun of being in an arranged marriage because you are getting to know the person as if you dated for the first two years.
Sandhya: And then the best part is that you can make your mistakes as well and you know that the other person is not going anywhere.
Ankur: Yeah that’s the best part of arranged marriages. There’s no fear. It’s not like dating. You’re not constantly judging the other person: Is he the right one? Is he not the right one? Is he faithful, not faithful? Will he go away if I say this, if I say that? Here that part is gone.
Sandhya: It’s about making this relationship perfect. Obviously we both are imperfect and we have our own flaws, but as a partner, how can I bring out the best in him and how can he do the same and how can we support each other?
What’s been your biggest fight since you got married?
Sandhya: We fight over the silliest things possible and then after we’ve screamed we think that it was so silly.
Ankur: And then we laugh about it.
Has anything surprised you about marriage?
Sandhya: I guess I thought it would be more difficult, but it’s not. Like I expected it to be like reallydifficult. Back home the girl has to keep quiet and let her husband dictate everything. That’s what they teach the girls — to be submissive — and I am not like that. But it’s been fun! We have an equal partnership.
Are there things you wish you would have had an opportunity to hash out before you got married?
Sandhya: I don’t think so.
Ankur: I think the big things we’re similar about.
Sandhya: It’s weird we’re on the same page about these big decisions without even discussing them.
Ankur: Yeah that was just very fortunate.
Sandhya: It’s folklore back home when you get married you walk around fire seven times, seven rotations, and it’s said you’re going to be married for seven lifetimes. So probably I have known him from my previous life or something.
Ankur: She thinks this is our seventh.
Oh because its been so smooth! What are you guys most looking forward to in your marriage?
Sandhya: Just having fun every day. That’s about it. I don’t think we have a certain image we have set our lives to.
Ankur: All we want to do currently at this state of life is have fun, and travel around before we have kids as much as possible. We would love to travel, advance our careers, support each other, and still discover each other every day.
Do you have any advice?
Ankur: I think marriage is a partnership — an equal partnership. And there is no one perfect out there for you, because no one is perfect. If you think, “This is not working out and I will find someone else because they will be better and more perfect,” that’s not likely, especially if you are just fighting over small issues because that is everyone.
Sandhya: First of all, we have to stop judging others. Marriage is for keeps. This is forever. It’s not like buying a dress, not like if it doesn’t fit I’ll throw this and get a new one. It’s not going to be like that. It’s loving an imperfect person perfectly. To keep it together you have to grow with the other person, make mistakes, because I am going to make mistakes; he is going to forgive me, and he’s going to make mistakes and I will have to forgive him. That’s how it’s going to work.
Ankur: The compromises in marriage, they become effortless because… they don’t feel compromised.
Sandhya: Because you don’t have to think about it.
Ankur: You’re growing as a person with them, rather than compromising yourself.
Sandhya: We will be more mature with each day and we will be awiser person with each day, but that’s going to happen with age. You cannot mature yourself in a day.
Do you and your spouse want to tell your story? Or do you know a great couple who should tell theirs?
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Really Like to Have an Arranged Marriage
We’ve all heard what techno-alarmists say about sexting: that it’s shameful, deviant, exploitative, and just stupid. But in many ways, it’s a new genre of personalized erotica. Now, everyone is her own author and illustrator with the ability to create provocative, graphic stories for herself and her object of desire.
Research shows that reacting excitedly when your partner shares good news can make a huge impact on your relationship.
It sounds pretty obvious, because of course you want to be happy for your partner and their personal success, but it’s easy to be distracted, thumbing through tweets on your phone, or not matching your partner’s level of excitement.
1. “I’m coming.” They don’t just want to hear it, they want to make sure their neighbors hear it too, so scream it. Every guy wants to know he’s making you orgasm, and what better way to tell him than explicitly stating you’re orgasming, except, you know, sexy?
2. “You’re so good at going down on me.” We know this is a point of contention for a lot of guys, so it’s nice to know we’ve got nothing to worry about. Men want to hear this when they’re doing anything even if it’s something mundane like taking out the garbage. When it’s something that directly challenges our manhood, that desire increases tenfold.
3. “You’re so big.” This is in direct reference to our penis, not our overall weight and girth. No one wants to hear, “You’re so large that logistically I cannot carry out this primal human interaction, which our bodies were designed for, with you.”
4. “Wow, that was the best sex I’ve ever had.” You’ve got to mean it though. We can tell if you’re saying it the same way you would tell your friend Teresa that her meatloaf is good even though it’s horrible. Because bad sex is like meatloaf: They’re both fucking terrible things that happen to good people.
5. “I’ve never come like that before.” The Guinness Book of World Records was started by men who realized that setting records tickled the basest parts of our brains. Knowing we are your vagina’s personal orgasm champion warms the cockles of our heart.
6. “Damn, you just won the lottery.” Literally. We would love to hear this at any point in our day. It would somehow be even better if we found out we won millions of dollars while our penis is in a vagina.
7. “Do whatever you want to me.” We will immediately put you in doggy style.
8. “You look so sexy like that.” Whoa, what? Guys don’t think they can look sexy, because we’re guys. Unless we’re on the shortlist for People‘s Man of the Year, this compliment is pleasantly unexpected.
9. “Did you hear that we finally achieved world peace?” It would be so great to know that human suffering was eliminated within our lifetime.
10. “I can’t take it anymore. Let’s just do anal.” This is just like finding out about world peace, except with butt stuff.
11. “Oh, my best friend is at the door. Can she join?” Yes. Invite all your friends. Is this a trick?
12. “My whole body is shaking.” This is physical evidence we did well and we know you’re not just faking it.
13. “Can I just give you a blow job?” Did you just ask if you can do all the work while we get to lie there? Yes.
14. “That was so good, I don’t even care if you go out to the bar to watch the game with your friends even though I have no plans.” We’ve done it, we’ve achieved the perfect orgasm.
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Things All Guys Want to Hear in Bed
Everyone’s heard about this “sexual peak” notion, right? Like that guys are at their sexual best around 18, and women hit their stride around 30—or something like that. Well, according to a new survey by sex toy company Lovehoney, women actually report having the “best sex” of their lives around age 26, while for men, it’s age 32—so pretty much the opposite of the old “sexual peak” myth. But the really interesting part of the survey is this: Chances are…if you’re having sex at all these days, no matter how old you are, it’s the best sex of your life.
We all live in a busy world and it’s hard to have more peace when you’re constantly feeling stressed and anxious. If you don’t have inner peace, you can’t achieve peace in the outer world. Just like Marcus Aurelius once said, “He who lives in harmony with himself lives in harmony with the universe.” We often do and say things we don’t mean, we argue with people we love, and we often forget the most important things in life. No wonder, we often end up feeling miserable and absolutely unhappy. Take a look at the list of rules you should live by to have more peace in your life.