“I have something to tell you.” That’s usually how I tell people I have food allergies. The same way you’d tell someone you had a wasting disease or an illegitimate child you didn’t know about. I like to start it off slowly and just say I’m allergic to dairy and see how they respond. Are they inching away? If so, do not continue with the list! Abort list! I’m allergic to pretty much all the main food allergens you can be allergic to and in a perfect world, people would just hear that and think, Yeah? Pass the bread. But they don’t. Why? Because of people who lie about having food allergies.