You may find it quite difficult to be a positive friend when your friend is going through hard times and you don’t have similar experience. But don’t be afraid. These advices will help you to understand what your friend needs in times of trouble.
One of the best ways to help your friend might be listening. It is important for your friend to know that you care, so you need to listen to her and hear what she is saying. If you are trying to do something else, or you are distracted by every little thing while she is speaking of her problems, she will feel as if you don’t care about her. Pay attention to what she says, don’t interrupt her and it might be the only help she needs.
When she said all that she wanted to, try to act like professional therapist. Repeat her story with your own words. It will let her know that you really did listen to her and, perhaps, it will help her to see the way she thinks from outside.
3. Ask questions
Often, your friends need some positivity, because they got into a negative space. To help them, you can simply give them another perspective of the problem they are facing. Carefully, ask them questions that will help to understand they are repeating patterns in their lives. If they see it, they will avoid it going forward.
4. Don’t forget about yourself
It happens that when you are trying to pull your friends out of quicksand of their problems they can drag you in without even knowing it. So when you start to deal with their issues, do not forget about yourself. You are known as a person your friends can count on, but don’t lose yourself in others’ problems. It will not help any of you. Don’t forget about yourself, only then you will be able to help your friends.
5. Give a smile
It is quite common when person lost in troubles forgets about the bright sides. You can help your friend not to lose herself completely by making her smile. It does not matter in what way you will do it. It can be an inside joke or a funny perspective of the issue. Be careful as it is a delicate matter. But a single smile from your friend can push her away from problems.
Although it can be unusual to show physical affection to one another, what friend who is going through hard times doesn’t want the comfort and safety of a friend’s arms? Hug your friend. Even if they feel confused a bit, hugs can make them feel safe, so it worth trying.
7. Be yourself
Some of the above mentioned ways may be not usual for you, but perhaps you just didn’t try them before and the time is now. What really important is whatever you do, be yourself. It does not matter what way you will choose to help a friend, just let them know you care. May be you have experienced the same problem, try to recall what you needed and give it to your friend.
Being a positive friend is wonderful, and you can be a positive friend not only to your friends, but to yourself as well. If you ever need a friend, remember, you can be one for yourself. So, what are your ways of helping friends?