How To Turn Your Failing Marriage Around? Marriage problems are stressful. You’ve made a commitment and given a share in your life to your partner – it’s natural to feel like you don’t want to just cast that aside. You might be wondering if there’s anything that can be done to save your marriage. Even if you’re feeling disheartened and doubting whether it’s worth carrying on, there might yet be some glimmer of hope.
Are you wondering how to turn your failing marriage around? Before you book a divorce lawyer, try out these steps to give your marriage a chance.
Turn Your Failing Marriage Around
Get Your Partner On Side
It takes two people to get married, and it takes two people to save a marriage. You can’t turn your marriage around single handedly – you both need to be in it 100%.
Sit down with your partner and have a frank discussion about the situation. Sweeping your problems under the carpet will only cause more harm in the long term. It’s difficult, painful even, but looking at the issues together is the only way to tackle them.
Be Honest With Yourself
Complete honesty with yourself is vital if you want to save your marriage. Take some quiet time, grab a journal or fire up your laptop, and spend a while writing out your feelings about yourself, your partner, and your marriage.
Be honest about what you want from your relationship, and whether you truly want to save it. Identify what isn’t working for you and what would need to change in order to make things work. Take a look at what you like about your partner and your relationship, too – those things are your motivation for working it out.
Be Honest With Each Other
Once you’re clear on your own needs and feelings, and your partner has identified their needs and feelings too, it’s time to be really honest with each other. This might be a difficult conversation, so it’s important to approach it as gently as you can while still being candid with each other.
Lying to your partner or hiding things won’t help you rebuild your marriage. Be frank with them about what you need from your marriage, and how you feel about the current state of affairs. Take time to listen to their input, too.
Aside from cases of abuse (where saving your marriage is clearly not a healthy option), it takes two people to cause marriage problems. If you blame everything that goes wrong on your partner, or try to take sole responsibility yourself, you’re not creating a good foundation for rebuilding your relationship.
Take responsibility for things you might have handled differently, and that have contributed to the breakdown of your marriage. This isn’t to assign blame or make yourself feel guilty. It’s simply an exercise in identifying where you might like to take a different approach in future.
Learn To Communicate Well
Good communication is a must if you want to save your marriage. Chances are you’re both feeling tired, hurt and frustrated. That’s ok. But sniping at your partner or being verbally aggressive isn’t the best way forward if you want a happier future.
Instead, learn to listen to each other calmly and without judgment. Take the time to focus on and express your own feelings, rather than slipping into the blame game.
Try repeating what your partner says in your own words, and have them do the same for you. This helps you understand where the other is coming from, and get clear about each others feelings and needs.
Have Fun Together
Trying to mend a marriage is hard work. It’s easy in the midst of that to forget why you fell in love and got married in the first place. It’s hard to keep a positive mindset and have faith in each other when everything in your marriage feels like a chore.
Give yourselves permission to just have fun together and enjoy each other’s company. Time spent reconnecting will remind you why you love each other and rekindle your desire to turn your marriage around.
Get Professional Help
There’s no shame in seeking professional help to put your marriage back together. In fact, a little help from a couples’ therapist can make all the difference to your marriage. They’re trained to help you communicate, and support you in working through your issues and deciding on the best way forward.
If you know you want to save your marriage but don’t know where to start, give couples’ therapy a try.
Set Goals Together
Feeling stuck or stagnant is common if your marriage is on a rocky ground. Setting goals together helps you both feel like you’re moving forward. You can set goals in any area of your life, so long as you’re both happy with them.
To start with you might want to agree on a weekend away together, or a financial goal. Perhaps you want to set a date for starting therapy together and start checking out therapists in your area.
Pick something that feels doable and isn’t focused around an issue that tends to cause arguments.
A failing marriage doesn’t have to become a failed marriage. With time and commitment from both of you, it’s possible to turn things around and build a healthier, happier relationship for the future.
Sylvia Smith is a relationship expert with years of experience in training and helping couples. She has helped countless individuals and organizations around the world, offering effective and efficient solutions for healthy and successful relationships. Her mission is to provide inspiration, support and empowerment to everyone on their journey to a great marriage. She is a featured writer for Marriage.com, a reliable resource to support healthy happy marriages. Sylvia can be reached at : https://www.linkedin.com/in/sylvia-smith-121959132/ and can be tweeted at https://twitter.com/syliva_smith
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How To Turn Your Failing Marriage Around?
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