The habit of worrying is a difficult thing to stop. We worry as children and then as teenagers until worry forms a habit which we carry on through out our life till we have perfected the art. If you don’t have that worried look on your face, then you are termed as irresponsible, childish and non-ambitious. There are a few psychological gimmicks to undo this horrible habit.
We often believe that happiness must be earned and this possible only by enduring unpleasantness. But how do you know if you’ve endured enough unpleasantness to deserve happiness? Another unspoken game rule: responsible adults can never endure enough unpleasantness to truly deserve happiness. Laid on top of the first neurosis is the idea that spending money will make you happy. Worrying is the easiest and most popular way to negate happiness. It never robs tomorrow of its sorrow, it only saps today of its joySo we never stop working, we never stop spending money, we’re never really happy. We must understand that today is the tomorrow we had worried about yesterday.
The Condition Serves A Purpose
You won’t stop worrying if you think it serves you, so it’s a good idea to distinguish the fight-or-flight response from worry. By making this distinction, you’re less likely to overrate the value of worrying. The fight-or-flight response (FOF) is useful on rare occasions of real danger. Worrying is never useful. It handicaps and diminishes us. The more it triggers the FOF with imagined threats, the more it prevents clear thinking.
Setting Straight Mental Furniture
There’s useful gimmick to help stop worrying. You simply cultivate the habit of postponing worrying. Your mind becomes reconditioned to not dwell on worries in the present. The trick is that whenever you feel plagued by a worrying thought, note it down on a piece of sheet or paper which is set aside for the purpose – you can then forget about it, knowing that you plan to worry later. If you can’t sleep due to some worry, then get up and do something instead of lying there worrying. It’s the worry that gets you, not the lack of sleep.
Trial And Error
What follows is slightly more esoteric than above. Feel free to ignore. Strange as it may seem, you want what you worry about. Or at least that’s what you inadvertently tell your brain when you worry. On one level, your brain can’t process “negatives”. If you tell it: “don’t think about crashing the car”, it can’t help being” attracted” to the thought/ image of crashing. Consciously, worrying is about preventing/resisting/ avoiding the situation.
For relatively “minor” worry problems, you can use psychological gimmicks to “con” your brain into letting go of the worry – the worry postponement techniques described above are a good starting point towards happiness. For peace of mind, you must give up the petty jobs and resign as general manager of the universe. You will have much spare time to relax.
The Lost Battle
Worrying is never useful. It worries and diminishes us and prevents clear thinking. People become attached to their burdens sometimes more than the burdens are attached to them. If you feel that something has gone beyond your control, you must give up your worries relating thereto immediately. But you should not give your efforts in mid-way. Continue to work on them but with lesser attention as you have other important jobs too.
If you treat every situation as a life and death matter, you’ll die a number of times. A hundred times of load of worry will not pay an ounce of debt. For a peaceful life, never bear more than one kind of trouble at a time. Some people bear three – all they have had, all they have now, and all they expect to have.
Be Happy – Have No More Worries.