Give Up Your Negative Ego (Part 3)

An average person always thinks he is above average. The perception of ‘easy and difficult’ is the result of one’s state of being. Swatting a fly is ‘difficult’ for some, while killing thousands is ‘easy’ for others like terrorists. Dropping the ego is easy when we realise that we are less than a dot in this vast cosmos. It is foolish to live with the illusion that we are the centre of the cosmos. Dropping ego becomes difficult when we have this illusion.

You will appreciate that in any circle there is a centre and a circumference. If the centre of your life is hope then you will experience deficiency. If the centre of your life is enjoying the moment, being total in the moment… then hope will be a circumference… then it is not a problem. Let kitchen items in the kitchen and bathroom items be in the bathroom. If they are placed elsewhere, then there is a problem. There is no problem with ‘hope’ as such, as long as it is in the circumference and not in the centre. Be alive to the present.

The self with arrogance is ego. Self with the ignorance of who we are is also ego. Self filled with hopes and dreams is also ego. Ego lives either in the past or in the future, but never in the present. If its centre resides either in the past or in the future it misses the present.

It is true that we are living in the world of ego… the ‘lower self’. But if our centre is gratitude and devotion, then we live in the present. Both past and future become mere reference points. The ‘higher self’ is a space from which possibilities arise. It is a flow. It is a learning energy. It is an evolving being. You have the choice to operate either from the lower or higher self.

When you operate from ego, your relationships will be affected. Ego wants to prove its point of view. The point of view is more important than truth or happiness. In that state, you demand and not command respect. If a couple demands respect from each other, then they are beggars of happiness and not givers of happiness. In the egoistic state, an argument feeds the ego. Remember no one wins an argument. You accumulate more of bitterness and at different periods of time you settle scores with the other.

When you operate from the ‘higher self’ there is a healthy discussion. In discussion, truth is more important than who has said it. Happiness and well-being become more important than the survival of one’s point of view.

Then a relationship becomes rhythmic. You enjoy being with the other and you enjoy being alone. You are neither dependent nor independent but interdependent. You share your joyous being and not beg happiness from your partner.

Identity is created by what others have said about us. If others have told you that you are a great speaker, then you feel you are a great speaker. So your identity is dependent on others. In fact, others create your identity. Others validate you. It is painful, as you have invested much on others. Your image is in the hands of others.

The fact is, the real ‘I’ in us is not created by others, but the higher self is our essence. The higher self is a presence. It is awareness we have not learnt to operate from that state of being. Hence, we are alien to ourselves.

When your partner separates from you, you feel you are at a loss. Stop and look within. You find a higher self, God waiting for you. Learn to discover aloneness in a relationship and beyond a relationship. Aloneness is not loneliness.

A key to my thinking has always been the almost fanatical belief that what I was engaged in was a literary art form. That belief was compounded out of ego and necessity, I guess, a combination of the two.

We all live in some sort of Organizations are made up of people. Your organization can be your family, your Office, your own company, your society, and your club, your sports team where you find some people working, playing, enjoying or sporting with you. Like you, every member of your team has his/her own goals, aspirations, concerns, experiences, and dreams. And each of us has an ego. The ego allows us to believe that we are capable of performing many tasks successfully. In all likelihood, our ego is what propelled us to a leadership position. Our great efforts and desire to succeed lead to major accomplishments and accolades.

When we do all this, we suddenly come across the paradox. Egos can vault us into a leadership position, because somebody else is also trying to occupy the seat of leadership. If you wish to be a leader, you must set your ego aside. Your ego can prevent you from being an effective and truly great leader. Before you became a leader, you likely operated as an individual contributor. You used your creativity and resourcefulness to meet objectives: a reduction of resources, an increase in quality, an increase in revenue or handling the general affairs smoothly. If you asked questions, they were about how you could accomplish a specific task. In general, however, your ego discouraged you from asking questions and disliked having to follow orders. Egos want to accomplish and achieve. And, egos crave recognition from others.

Every time you accomplished a task and met the objective, your status moved forward and your standing in the organization or community grew. With each accomplishment, your ego grew, too. Asking fewer questions and provided more answers. After all, with your success, others came to you as an oracle of information-perhaps even your boss or your boss’s boss. You do control. Your ego adds up to your esteem, you feel.

As a leader, we must relinquish control. We must shrink our ego and concentrate on our altruism. Our career advancement is no longer task oriented. Leadership is about allowing others the chance to achieve and flourish. Be sure, we can advance as a leader only when we place our employees’ egos above our own. The heads of many organizations are not able to do this. Their teams may still succeed based upon their drive for individual success, but they are not true leaders or one thing, their associates will not be inspired to reach their full potential because they know they will not receive full credit for their efforts.

So, as a leader, we should not lead with questions. Questions confer power and control to our associates. It allows their egos a chance to shine. And you, they, and the organization will all be better served. But Ego! That kills the basic initiative. Ego may tell you why you afford the submission; the concerned person may approach you. Actually, you believe that it seeks to please the id’s drive in realistic ways that will benefit in the long term rather than bringing grief, because the ego is not sharply separated from the id. Because your ego comprises that organized part of the personality structure which includes defensive, perceptual, intellectual-cognitive, and executive functions. Conscious awareness resides in the ego, although not all of the operations of the ego are conscious. The ego separates what is real. It helps you to organize your thoughts and make sense of them and the world around you.

Ego can be an impediment in your further progress and later on, you may repent on certain consequences why you did not give up your ego for a better gain. You need to examine each case on merit basis.

So, Now it’s never late.. Forget your egos, past……….., and express your love to others………. Be friendly…………… keep smiling and be happy for ever…

Be Happy – Give Up Your Negative Ego Immediately.


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