Differentiate Between You and Others (Part 3)

We feel that there are a number of factors do not permit us to acquire the desired happiness. Hate, Anger or Irritations are amongst them. Just like fear, hate comes in many degrees. Intense hate causes individuals to kill and nations to go to war. It can manifest itself in lesser degrees, such as anger, or mild irritations. Since hate is a strong word and you may avoid relating to it, anger is substituted for hate in this section. Anger is harder to eliminate than fear because it is usually much more intense, appears in a flash and tends to stay with you. As a result, your chemistry falls farther and faster than with fear. Anger’s extreme negative chemical reaction throws off your ability to reason clearly, distorts your judgment and may lead to bizarre behavior. Plus, anger tends to linger because you dwell on it far longer than fear. Fear more readily disappears once you get past your concern about a future outcome, and return to the present.

Some of you have memory sheets with very little anger while others are full of rage, and explode at the drop of a hat. In either case, your anger affects your judgment and ability to reason. If you get angry, fast and furious, you have a lot of work ahead of you unless you are extremely determined and self-disciplined. However, by training your memory sheet you can greatly reduce your anger and shorten its duration if you try hard enough. It is just a matter of desire, awareness, time and effort.

It is imperative to totally and completely understand that negative emotions are poison. They destroy your chemistry and cause havoc with your performance, judgment and health. If you do not comprehend that anger causes unhappiness, you will allow it to continue.

If you are thirsty and I give you a glass of gasoline, would you drink it? Of course, you wouldn’t. You wouldn’t even think twice about drinking it. So why allow a fact, fair or unfair, upset you and rob you of the ability to reason and function at your full potential while handling that fact? “For every minute you are angry you lose sixty seconds of happiness.” -Ralph Waldo Emerson. “Whatever begins in anger, ends in shame.” -Benjamin Franklin. “There was never an angry man that thought his anger unjust.” -St. Francis De Sales. “Whenever you are angry, be assured that it is not only a present evil, but that you have increased habit.” –Epictetus.

Now you can write down all of the things that you hate, get you angry or irritated on a piece of paper. It is important that you are honest with yourself and take the time right now to list what angers or irritates you as well as things that you hate.

I hate or get anger at or get irritated by:

1) _______________________________________

2) _______________________________________

3) _______________________________________

4) _______________________________________

5) _______________________________________

Take a look at what you have just written down. Whatever you have listed, they all have one thing in common. They are all facts that you react negatively to. While you may not be able to change the facts, you can change your negative emotional response to them if you choose to.

Any time you encounter a fact that you prefer not to have in your life, three possible situations exist. One, you can leave the situation and remove yourself from the fact. Two, you can change the situation and fact to one that you prefer. Three, you are stuck in the situation and have to deal with the fact.

No matter what facts you are stuck with or encounter in your life, you always have the choice of how you respond emotionally. It takes a very strong person not to hate or get angry at unjust actions or behavior. However, hate begets hate and anger begets anger. If you respond to an injustice with hate or anger, you are adding fuel to the fire. Why do you think mankind is in a continual state of war? Is it because of love or hate?

“We shall require a substantially new manner of thinking if mankind is to survive.” -Albert Einstein. “Problems cannot be solved at the same level of awareness that created them.” -Albert Einstein. You may not be able to control the facts around you, but you can control your emotional response to them. A positive attitude is a great asset since it increases your brain’s chemistry and creativity to help you find a solution to your situation.

Convert your anger into determination. Then work harder and smarter to change the facts into positives or accept them for what they are if you can’t change them. Always look for the best, no matter how adverse your situation may seem. My philosophy is “If it does not kill you, it makes you stronger by overcoming it and the negative emotions on your memory sheet.”

Our commitment is not for weaklings, brooders and pouters. It is for individuals who want to be great and fly with the eagles. Anger and the desire for revenge is not a show of strength and character. It is a lack of self-control. You are better off without anger. If my straightforwardness upsets you, look for the truth in my message. Learn to get rid of your hate, anger, and petty irritations. Otherwise, your memory sheet will have you repeat them over and over again.

If you repeat your commitment, I am always truthful, positive, and helping others”, you will find that your self inspiration may transform your negative emotions of hate, anger, and irritations into positive emotions. As longer you live by this commitment, the easier it may become to remain positive and take the high road. After a while, it becomes hard to be negative or remain negative no matter what facts you may encounter. It just takes self-training, training, and more training until you can become that way. Whenever an injustice may happen to you or in the world, you will realize that ignorance is the cause. Then, you would pray for the person or those that perpetrates the injustice. The two quotes below may help you to keep you emotions on the high road, instead of stooping to the level of those that cause the injustice. “Father, forgive them, for they know not what they do.” -Jesus Christ, while hanging on the cross. “A good man is a bad man’s teacher, and a bad man is a good man’s job.” -Lao Tzu. Since the world’s injustices are not going to be solved by more injustices in the belief that the end will justify the means, you will realize ultimately that the solution is there in improving your emotions and encouraging millions others to do the same. Since you can’t solve a problem with the same mindset that created it, hopefully the combined efforts will eventually make this world a better place for those who will follow us after we would have done a lot in this direction.

My friends, relatives and all those who ever came in my contact confirm that I very rarely get angry. When I do, I immediately notice the chemical changes in my body and just let the anger go. I don’t suppress the anger. I acknowledge the fact that I reacted negatively to and consciously choose to release my anger. Why be angry? It’s bad for your health and makes you do things that you regret doing once you have calmed down.

Here is a game plan for reducing and eliminating your anger. First, as soon as you notice you are angry, stop and acknowledge that you are angry. Do not suppress your anger, or it will build and fester. After acknowledging you are angry, realize that you are merely reacting to a fact and have a choice of how to respond. You can continue to be upset or you can decide to release your anger.

Here is an excellent method for releasing anger. Take ten deep breaths and slowly exhale after each breath. This will relax you and calm you down. Then, make a big smile and talk to your memory sheet. Tell it that you refuse to let a fact get you upset no matter how unfair or unjust the fact may be. Facts are merely facts! You may not be able to control the facts, but you can control your emotional response to them.

The more times that you consciously release your anger, the easier it becomes. After a while, you will start laughing at the things that use to get you angry. If I ever run across an angry person that wants to vent on me or argue, I just smile and let them vent. It takes two to tango, and two angry people to fight or argue. Since I don’t respond with anger, I know the angry person will eventually calm down. Once that happens, I have a civil conversation and discuss the facts that they were angry about. Sometimes we end up being friends.

Realize that there are three sides to every argument or disagreement. They are: your side, their side and the truth. Instead of defending my side, I look for the truth behind the facts and what I may have done or not have done to cause the problem. Even if I’m only at fault 1%, I’ll take responsibility for my actions and do my best to correct them. Many of your personal confrontations and our world’s challenges could be solved with a similar approach.

We should no longer have things in our life that we hate to do. We may divide our life into things that we prefer to do and prefer not to do. Most of the things in our life we love doing. When we have to do things that we prefer not to, we do it with a smile knowing that even the Buddha chopped wood and carried water. We use these opportunities to master my memory sheet and raise my chemistry.

The more our chemistry and understanding rises, we may out that there would be fewer things we prefer not to do. It would make us happy when we cross off tasks that we will finish from our daily-to-do list, especially the ones we prefer not doing and have to do.

When we find something that angers or irritates us, it may make us smile because we may find another fact on our memory sheet that we can change our negative response into a positive one and increase our chemistry in the process. We are more concerned about changing our negative emotional reactions into positive ones, than the facts fair or unfair that we encounter in our life. You will become that way too if you start reflecting you’re your commitment throughout the day.

If you are working to eliminate anger from your memory sheet, do not become discouraged or get mad at yourself when you respond to facts with anger. Remember, your memory sheet wants you to repeat your past and will not give up without a fight. Be patient. Be determined. Stick to your game plan. Before going to sleep, talk to your memory sheet. Tell it how you want to respond in the future to the facts that upset you during the day. After a while, your memory sheet will help you in your battle to change your emotional response to facts as you become less angry, and your anger lasts for shorter periods of time.

Some individuals feel that their anger fuels their determination. However, can you always quickly transform your anger into determination? If you can, why wait to get angry before you become determined? This may seem like unnatural way to go through life, but it sure beats going though life being angry and unhappy. Try it, you’ll like it.

Greed

Greed is excessive or reprehensible acquisitiveness. “Greed is a bottomless pit which exhausts the person in an endless effort to satisfy the need without ever reaching satisfaction.” -Erich Fromm. “The avarice person is ever in want; let your desired aim have a fixed limit” –Horace. There is nothing wrong about acquiring money, possessions and things to make your life more comfortable as long as you don’t lie or become selfish in the process. The best way to make a lot of money is to provide an honest product or service that helps others.

“Men are rich only as they give. He who gives great service gets great rewards.” -Elbert Hubbard. “If you would take, you must first give, This is the beginning of intelligence.” -Lao Tzu. “For it is in giving that we receive.” -St. Francis of Assisi. “The best way to keep greed from clouding your judgment is to dedicate your life to helping others and spend less time thinking about yourself. If you do, you will live a very rich and happy life. The most satisfying thing in life is to have been able to give a large part of oneself to others.” -Pierre Teilhard de Chardin. “It is not what we get. But who we become, what we contribute … that gives meaning to our lives.”-Anthony Robbins. “For of those to whom much is given, much is required.” -John F. Kennedy.

Jealousy

Jealousy results when you desire something that another person possesses and you can’t have or you resent them for having what you want. “The disease of jealousy is so malignant that it converts all it takes into its own nourishment.” -Joseph Addison. “The jealous are possessed by a mad devil and a dull spirit at the same time.” -Johann Kaspar Lavater. Jealousy can only exist when you are looking outside of yourself for happiness. You came into this world alone and without possessions. When you leave this world, you can’t take anyone or anything with you, except your spirit. I don’t know what will happen to my spirit when it’s time to leave this world. However, my gut feelings tell me that I will move on to another dimension, higher or lower, depending upon the character I developed while I was here on Earth. Some people refer to it as “heaven or hell.” Since I can’t take any possessions or things with me when it’s time to move on, why be jealous of what others have. The only thing that I’ll take with me is my spirit. So I’m spending my time here helping others and developing my character by doing my best to live with my commitment 100% of the time.

I firmly believe the more truthful, positive and helpful to others that I become, the higher I will move up the ladder when it’s my time to move on. Hopefully, you will feel as I do and make living the commitment one of your methods to climb up the ladder as high as you can before it’s your time to move on. I’m positive that the commitment will enhance whatever religious beliefs you may have.

Wouldn’t our world be a better place if everyone else felt the same way? Why be jealous of people or things, when all you have that really matters is your character and how well you treat others? If you have faith in your own abilities and understand the big picture of life, you can achieve what you want through your own efforts and God’s help. Anytime you have any degree of love, generosity, praise, bravery or multiple combinations of these emotions, your brain secretes positive chemicals which enhance your natural ability and happiness.

Love is the strongest positive emotion. Love is what drives individuals to noble deeds. Love allows the spirit to push on against incredible odds, hardships and obstacles. Always love your fellow human beings and have compassion, in spite of the frustrations you encounter.

There is a huge difference between loving what you do and liking what you do. Love creates a passion within you that cannot be denied. Love overcomes the option of quitting when times get tough. If you want to be happy and successful, find what you love to do and do it with all your heart and soul. Success and happiness will follow!

Generosity is liberality in spirit, acts and giving. To me the best time of the year is Christmas or the Holiday Season because during this brief time of the year, the masses of society observe the spirit of giving and forgiving. It is a great time to be alive.

Why limit your generosity and kindness only to the religious days when you can do it every day of the year?

Praise is expressing a favorable judgment to or approval of another. When someone does something well, let them know. When someone fails, praise them for their efforts and encourage them never to give up striving to reach their dream.

Bravery allows you to face and overcome your fears. Bravery gives you the faith and courage to continue your quest against all odds. Learn to live in the present and keep improving the process until you achieve your desired outcomes. It takes extreme bravery and faith to commit yourself totally to a journey where there are no guarantees that you will reach your destination. You must be brave and have supreme confidence in yourself to always be truthful, positive and helping others without exceptions. If you do, a meaningful life full of joy and happiness will be yours.

Since the proof is in the pudding, all you have to do is reflect on your life and your level of happiness to know that what I’m sharing with you makes total sense. Don’t just take my word for it. Prove it to yourself by doing your best to live your commitment 100% of the time and watch how much happier you become as a result.

For getting happy, we need to differentiate between us and others by giving up the demerits which make us unhappy. Once we do, we would be different and happy. Be Happy – we must differentiate ourselves.


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