Develop Your Personality (Part – 6)

Personality development is crucial for our success, our happiness, our incomes, prospects of our industries, increasing yield of our investments etc. When we consider the process of developing our personality, we usually have the following four preferences
• Being Extrovert or Introvert,
• Preferring Sensing or Intuition,
• Thinking or Feeling, and
• Judging or Perceiving

Why are we “Extrovert or Introvert”?

When we talk about being ourselves extrovert” or “introvert”, we are distinguishing between the two worlds in which all of us live. There is a world inside us, and a world outside ourselves. When we are dealing with the world outside of ourselves, we are extrovert. When we are inside our own minds, we are introvert.

In other words, we are extrovert when we:
• Talk to other people,
• Listen to what someone is saying,
• Cook dinner, or make a cup of coffee, or
• Work on a car.

And, we are introvert when we:
• Read a book,
• Think about what we want to say or do,
• Are aware of how we feel, or
• Think through a problem so that we understand it.

Do we define our life’s direction externally or internally? Which world gives us our energy, and which way do we perhaps find draining?

How does our sensing or intuition work?

The preference refers to the method how we gather information. We all need data on which we base our decisions. The “Sensing” preference absorbs data in a literal, concrete fashion. The “Intuitive” preference generates abstract possibilities from information that is gathered. We all use both Sensing and Intuition in our lives, but to different degrees of effectiveness and with different levels of comfort.

We sense when we:
• Taste food,
• Notice a stoplight has changed,
• Memorize a speech, or
• Follow steps in a plan.


We are intuitive when we:
• Come up with a new way of doing things,
• Think about future implications for a current action,
• Perceive underlying meaning in what people say or do, or
• See the big picture and make out our concept.

Which method of gathering information do we trust the most? Do we rely on our senses and want concrete, practical data to work with? Or do we trust our intuitions without necessarily building upon a solid foundation of facts?

Why is our preference for thinking or feeling?

People have the capability to make decisions based on two very different sets of criteria: Thinking and Feeling. When someone makes a decision that is based on logic and reason, they are operating in “Thinking” mode. When someone makes a decision that is based on their value system, or what they believe to be right, they are operating in “Feeling” mode. We all use both modes for making decisions, but we put more trust into one mode or the other. A “Thinker” makes decisions in a rational, logical, impartial manner, based on what they believe to be fair and correct by pre-defined rules of behavior. A “Feeler” makes decisions on the individual case, in a subjective manner based on what they believe to be right within their own value systems.


We are making decisions in the “Thinking” mode when we:
• Research a product via consumer reports, and buy the best one to meet our needs,
• Do “The Right Thing”, whether or not we like it,
• Choose not to buy a blue shirt which we like, because we have two blue shirts, or
• Establish guidelines to follow for performing tasks

We are making decisions in the “Feeling” mode when we:
• Decide to buy something because we like it,
• Refrain from telling someone something which we feel may upset them,
• Decide not to take a job because we don’t like the work environment, or
• Decide to move somewhere to be close to someone we care about

Some decisions are made entirely by “Thinking” or “Feelings” processes. Most decisions involve some “Thinking” and some “Feelings”. Decisions that we find most difficult are those in which we have conflicts between our “Thinking” and “Feelings” sides. In these situations, our dominant preference will take over. Decisions which we find easy to make and feel good about are usually a result of being in sync with both our “Feelings” and “Thinking” sides.

Why must we afford Judging or Perceiving?

Judging and perceiving preferences, within the context of personality types, refers to our attitude towards the external world, and how we live our lives on a day-to-day basis. People with the Judging preference want things to be neat, orderly and established. The Perceiving preference wants things to be flexible and spontaneous. Judges want things settled; Perceivers want thing open-ended.

We Judge when we:
• Make a list of things to do,
• Schedule things in advance,
• Form and express judgments, or
• Bring closure to an issue so that we can move on

We perceive when we:
• Postpone decisions to see what other options are available,
• Act spontaneously,
• Decide what to do as we do it, rather than forming a plan ahead of time, or
• Do things at the last minute

We all use both Judging and Perceiving as we live our day-to-day life. Within the context of personality type, the important distinction is which way of life do we lean towards, and are more comfortable with.The differences between Judging and Perceiving are probably the most marked differences of all the four preferences. People with strong Judging preferences might have a hard time accepting people with strong Perceiving preferences, and vice-versa. On the other hand, a “mixed” couple (one Perceiving and one Judging) can complement each other very well, if they have developed themselves enough to be able to accept each other’s differences.

Unselfishness Can Bring Success:

Apart from the above, still there are other factors which influence development process. We may look into them also. Unselfishness is one of them. All outgoing energy with a selfish motive is squandered away. The results of such energy can not bring to you satisfaction as you will term that results in consideration of the quantum of energy you devoted to get them, Isn’t it a trading activity! If you do some job without selfishness, you will not lose any concentration during the process of doing that job as you won’t worry for returns and after completion, it will give you eternal satisfaction. No doubt, if you do some job with full concentration, the results will come to you definitely. Such types of self control will tend to build up a mighty will, a character which makes towering personality like Buddha. Tremendous integrity and sincerity to the common welfare brings success to the life. The fools can not understand it easily. They can not see beyond their interests.
The selfishness is the chief sin, promotes you to think, “I will eat first, I will have more money, I should possess this thing or that thing before someone else may take over.” The other one will also think alike and there would start acts of snatching the shares, even the genuine shares of every other one. But the unselfish person will wait for his turn to get the genuine share. Unselfishness is the test of religion. He who develops it comes nearer to God, he attains spirituality – it does not matter whether he is a learned person or illiterate in terms of the education of today. Saint Kabir is such example. Going to religious places does not help a selfish person to wash out his guilt. You see! A number of criminals donate more than a gentleman – why? His guilt tries to encroach upon his inner consciousness. Those who know his past or present understand his acts.

Love, sincerity and patience pay well:

How? Love, sincerity and patience are the virtues which help everyone to win the battle. What do you mean by life? It is simply growth. From childhood to old age, a man witnesses growth, expansion of his horizon of thinking. If he does not do with love, sincerity and patience, he would not be able to reap mature fruits out of the efforts he may have to make efforts even for his survival. If you love work, the work will reward to you. If you love rewards, what will the ‘work’ do? You are expecting the ultimate before climbing up the first important step of the staircase which is to lead to you the destination – you are expecting destination first.

Everyone talks about his rights – what about the duties? Duty itself is sweet when you grease it with love. If you perform your duty with love, sincerity and patience, you will find that your rights will come to you themselves as soon as the sincere performance of your duty brings out the results. Love, sincerity and patience never fail, today or tomorrow or even ages thereafter, truth will conquer. The world appreciates that the doctrines by Mahatma Gandhi are still relevant and gain more importance than they were respected during his life time. He performed his duties with love, sincerity and patience without waiting for the results.

Your weakness is your death:

Yes, it is true. Your weakness is your death; the weak does not have any place here, in this life or in any other life. Being emotive to someone does not mean that you should keep your eyes shut down even he makes blunders. You will have to restrain him. Otherwise, you will be considered as a part and parcel of that sin. Weakness leads to all kinds of misery – physical or mental. There are millions of microbes of misery floating around us. They won’t be able to approach us; they can not dare to hold us, if we are not weak. We assume that in each of us, one hero is there, who can accomplish the dreams. We need to identify and do as required to provide strength to ourselves. Strength is life, and weakness is death, a constant strain, a severe mental stress. It does not find place in our personality types.

Weakness makes us running like hares fearing to be hunted. They try to hide their heads to think they would be safe. No, if it targets you, you will be hunted soon. If you fight back, you will win. Suppose, you are passing through some street; in one side of which, there is a large tank of water and on other side of the street, there is a high rise wall. On that street, you feel that some brute monkeys are following you. If they feel that you are afraid, they may run after you and try to bite or snatch your belongings. If you turn to them bravely, they have no way just to go back otherwise they will fall in the tank; even being animal, lesser intelligent than you, know that if they advance, you can do harm to them as you are not afraid of their hooks.

Keep up the ethics:


Maintaining ethics in your working can give you unshakeable belief and goodwill to your stature. It shows the purity of character at one hand and on the other, faith of the society that you won’t change if there is a chance of any false counter allurements. The hardest hearts have to bow down before the ethical values, maybe they won’t do immediately. Son of a head of a village killed an animal of other villager. That head was famous for his ethics. As soon as he came to know that his only son killed the animal of the villager and that animal was source of income for him, he immediately asked his son to work in his animal’s place until that villager developed alternative source of income. After this announcement, the villager forgave the son. But that head was again voted to power without any opposition. It was his intention of sacrificing, his ethics which paid back.

If you are able to maintain ethics in your business practices, in your professional working, in your office or works, you will win the hearts of those who come in your contact. Even your family members would pay respects to you and those who come to know of your high values. If I hurt you unknowingly and try to compensate you as soon as I come to know about the hurt, it is the most likely that you may get moved through my action. If I do and you don’t thank me, it won’t matter as much my satisfaction that I am happy to see you again unhurt or reimbursed.
For the framework of our ethics, we usually make out some ideals before us. We need to hold them up, stick to them in all circumstances and we would be able to win the hearts. That will give us strong determination to march ahead and become an embodiment of our personality.

Personality development is not limited to a specific period of life. We can carry on introspection continuously and improve it as and when we find that somewhere we are not meeting the expectation of ourselves, our friends, our relatives and those who have or may have concern with us. It is constant process and should be continued till it is required.

Be Happy – Develop your personality.


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