Communication Is Key for Any Relationship, but Sometimes it’s not enough : When it comes to relationships, you will frequently hear people say that there’s no “one size fits all.” Every relationship is different and comes along with its own unique challenges. However, there is one factor in which everyone has heard makes a world of difference when it comes to your relationship: communication.
Communication has been noted, time and again, to be one of the most important factors in a relationship. It is the ‘foundation’ of all relationships. In fact, according to this post on Quora, it’s all about ‘loving communication.’ In short, if you can’t communicate in an effective manner, your relationship is already over.
Yet, for many people, even couples who are very good at communicating everything to each other, it’s still not enough. This is likely because even though communication is key, it’s oftentimes difficult to overcome your own bias and agenda during your talks. This ultimately leads to a very different outcome to the one that is desired by both individuals. So, two questions come to mind. Why is this happening and what is the solution here? In fact, is there any?
A Brief History
To answer the first question, we need to look back at the progression of ideal relationships over time. According to Eli Finkel, relationships can be separated into three different eras. The first era spanned from the Colonial period until around 1850. The second era is counted from 1850 until around 1965. And the third era, which is the one we are currently living in, is anything after 1965.
Up until 1850, people weren’t marrying primarily for love. In fact, according to Finkel, this wasn’t even on the radar. People were marrying out of necessity – the necessity to feed and shelter. It was all about what you could practically bring to the table. Only during the second era did love start making its way into peoples minds. Now, in the third era, it’s not just about a desire to be loved. There are many different emotional needs, such as self-actualization and personal growth, among many others. This has led to thousands feeling unsatisfied in their relationships. It is difficult for most people to meet all of their partner’s emotional needs nowadays.
So, this brings us to the second question: is there really a solution?
The good news is that there is a solution for most people. No, it’s not the current popular method of meditation. Rather, it’s mediation – as in couples therapy. Sometimes, having an independent third-party person present is the best possible thing you can do for your relationship.
Yes, we know what you’re thinking: “how original.” It’s true that therapy is now thrown around as if it’s a regular household item. Everyone is talking about therapy these days. But, there is a reason for that. After all, roughly 50% of marriages end in divorce, and that’s just in the United States. Clearly, current methods of communication, meditation or the thousands of other options are not working.
Having a therapist present can help you not only understand your partner better, but can also help you fulfil some of the other emotional needs that are demanded by society today.
Although many people have reservations regarding this route, they should really open up to the idea of couples therapy. Heck, try something new like couples therapy online. Do whatever you need to do, just go see a therapist. It’s understandable if you’re unsettled about walking into an office with a stranger listening to your problems. Licensed or not, we get it. But, there’s a reason couples therapy exists for such a long time – because it works.
Remove the stubbornness from your midst. Or stigma. Or preconceived notions. Whatever it is – get rid of those thoughts. It’s holding you back from saving your relationship.
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Communication Is Key for Any Relationship, but Sometimes it’s not enough
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