6 Tips For Helping a Child Through Separation : When a marriage or relationship breaks down, it’s often a very difficult time for everyone involved. Not only do you have to manage relationships and work with your partner to sort out assets and divide things equitably, there’s all too often children involved.
When kids are involved in a split it can be messy and difficult, because you’re trying to manage your emotions and your feelings towards your partner, while also wanting to spare your kids from any pain or sadness that they might be feeling.
If you’re going through a divorce or separation and need help it’s definitely time to call Melbourne family lawyer, Marguerite Picard. The psychological impact that a divorce or separation can have on kids should not be understated – which is why it’s important to seek comprehensive legal advice early on to ensure that the impacts are minimal.
We want to help you through your split, which is why we have brought together our top six ways to help a child through separation. While this is a difficult time, it doesn’t have to be overly difficult for the kids – and if we can help in any way, we will.
Let your child know that they are loved
In many cases of separation and divorce, it is the children who suffer the most. It’s important that you as the parent (and the one who is responsible for the child) are able to keep things together and keep showing your child the love they need and so desperately want. Kids can assume that they are somehow to blame for their parents’ divorce and it’s vital that you assure them that they are not.
Don’t sugarcoat things
While kids are kids, they’re not babies – and they are switched on to what is going on around them. You need to make sure that the kids are told what is happening in the most matter-of-fact terms possible and suitable. Let kids have time to vent and explain how they are feeling as well, which will give them a feeling of greater control over things.
Have alternatives up your sleeve for parent dates
If you have scheduled for your kids to hang out with a parent whom you know to be notoriously unreliable – make sure that you have an alternative planned in case the parent doesn’t show. Make sure it’s something fun and inclusive, and give the child time to accept what’s happening. Say something like “We’ll give it half an hour more and if mum doesn’t show up, we’ll head to the movies.” Your child needs to feel the love, and a good distraction doesn’t hurt either.
Make sure you’re giving your kids plenty of time to pipe up with how they’re feeling. You want to ensure that kids’ voices are being heard on matters that concern the whole family. That way they’ll have a greater feeling of inclusion and won’t feel like decision are being made without them.
Share the love
Involve your extended family in gatherings or family outings so that kids have a chance to spend time with important loved ones. If you can involve your ex’s family in these outings, all the better – you don’t want your kids to miss out on important family relationships just because the two of you weren’t able to work things out.
Never fight in front of your kids
You must adhere to this. Never fight in front of your kids, it’s far too traumatic. You’re the adults here – so make sure your kids never have to see you fighting. You can go to another room or just wait, for goodness sake! Your kids are the innocent ones in this situation, so be sure to treat them with respect and kindness.
We hope you’ve found this helpful – and remember that if you are struggling with a separation or divorce to call Marguerite Picard on (03) 9939 6383. She will help with the kindness and sensitivity that these often tough times demand.
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